You’ve probably heard the saying ‘change is as good as a holiday’. And sure, in some situations, altering your circumstances
can be refreshing. But not all major life changes make you feel immediately clear, secure, and ready to take on the world.
When everything you know is turned upside down, moving forward successfully is not a quick snap – it’s a transitional process.
Navigating through the darkness before the dawn is tough.
Conversely, many people struggle with sudden good fortune.
The good news is, countless people like you have been there
before. They’ve struggled with decisions and made mistakes so
that you don’t have to.
The most stressful life (and financial) events
According to the Holmes Rahe Stress Scalei, the biggest life
events you may have to overcome include:
- Buying a home
- Involuntary unemployment
- Divorce or separation
- Retirement
- Estate planning
- Pregnancy or gaining a new family member
- Major changes to business
- Moving into Aged Care
How to deal with sudden changes
So what do all these life events have in common? Basically,
they induce psychological states where you’re more likely to be
emotional and reactive than logical and rational. This can lead to
poor outcomes which only fulfil your short term needs, or worse,
cause further detriment to all involved.
There’s only one way to remove yourself from that reactive state
– mindfulness. Mindfulness means being self-aware, having the
ability to see your situation from an outsider’s perspective, and
thinking before you act. Here’s how you get there:
• Get a mentor. A friend, family member or amenable
acquaintance who has been through what you’re going
through. They’ll be able to give you a fresh perspective and
(evidence-based) hope for the future.
• Take it one day at a time. And if you don’t think you can
get through a day, try a shorter time period. As a wise TV
comedienne recently said, “You can stand anything for 10
seconds. Then you just start on a new 10 seconds.”
• In a similar vein, concentrating on small tasks, one at a time,
can help make a seemingly impossible task seem much more
manageable. For example, take income insecurity. You may be
feeling anxious because you don’t know how to pay for all of
the expenses you currently have. But listing your expenses in
priority order can help clarify just how little you have to spend
to get by.
• It’s a good idea to have scheduled ‘down time’ while you’re
going through a major change. Whether it’s meditation,
exercise, a massage, shopping, or a good old snooze, mark it
in your diary – and don’t let anyone cross it out. This can help
prevent you from feeling overwhelmed at other times – such
as when you’re making an important financial decision.
• Take action. Putting off work involved with a major life change
just means the stress snowballs. Even taking a small step can help
take the pressure off. For example, if you’re feeling a bit restless
about being retired, enquire about a volunteering position. You
don’t have to make a commitment, but you’ve opened yourself up
to the possibility of contributing your skills to a cause.
• Ask yourself how much of your situation you can really control.
Try to be objective – pretending you’re giving advice to a
loved one can help. Letting go of what you can’t control allows
you to spend mental energy on what really matters.
Hindsight is 20/20 – when to reassess after change
After you’ve made it through to the other side of a major life
event, it’s important to reassess your financial situation. You may
think that you’ve dealt with all the financial implications. But
doing a review of your finances can still yield benefits…
If you’ve recently been through a big change, get in touch with us
to help reassess and plan for a prosperous future
